To celebrate another year’s revolution, I’m lifting a post from Lar at leasticoulddo.com, because it’s eloquent, simple, and spot-on:

“Another year, come and gone. And now is the time for people to get all anxious about self imposed resolutions. Over the years, I’ve found most of my resolutions are year round goals. Things like “lose weight”, “manage my time better” and “stop with all the stabby”.

Y’know what? Self-reflection is a good thing. Just do that.

It’s easy to get wound up nowadays that life just blurs. Slow down, take a few moments and re-assess. That’s all. Don’t sweat the formality of a resolution you will like as not wind up breaking in the weeks following. Make that part of your routine to just pause every so often to give yourself that personal acknowledgement of what you’ve accomplished and where to go next. No lists. No soul baring confessions. No radical changes to your lifestyle. Just the satisfaction of catching your breath once in awhile.

Be excellent to each other. “

Now, off to Adam and Katie’s to ring in the New Year – with all three Lord of the Rings movies!!

Happy New Year.

I am admittedly cynical when it comes to local forecasters.
I don’t mean the dapper young gentlemen in shiny suits and ties, or the usually-pregnant ladies on your local news broadcast.
I’m talkin’ about the multitudes of coworkers, customers, and friends that can’t stop talking about the “snowstorm” that’s coming this weekend.

I’ve lived in Baltimore for six years now, and I’ve pretty consistently observed that when everyone and their Hon-mom is talking about impending wintry doom, you will see a cough of flurries and still have to go to work and/or school the next day. Needless to say, this past week I’ve been “psssh”-ing and rolling my eyes a good bit. “Suure, it’s going to be a blizzard! Yeah, we’re going to get a REAL dumping of snow!”

Color me shocked.

Now I suppose I should backtrack a little: just because I don’t really ever believe the snow-hype, that doesn’t mean I don’t long for crazy snow party. The nine-year-old in me has fingers and toes crossed and is silently praying and pleading with all manner of deities for some AWESOME SNOW. This is why, on Friday night, pretty much every hour (on the hour) I asked Aaron, “Do you think it’s snowing yet??” Around ten o’clock he said, “Nope not yet. Wait…yeah a car just went by and I saw some flurries in the headlights!”

Hmmm. Flurries. But the excitement was mounting, nonetheless.

A little while later we looked out of our bedroom window: there was a goodly dusting on the roof and the cars. We went to sleep, and the madness started.

The roof below our window is probably about a foot down, maybe a little less. By the time we woke up, the snow was creeping its way up, almost level to the window ledge. No signs of stopping. We ate some danish we had procured the night before and Internetted, as is fitting for any Saturday morn. I napped a little while longer. The snow was level with the window ledge. I knitted, and snow surpassed the window ledge.

At this point, our neighbor Mr. Bill gets out his snow blower. I should point out that the snow had not relented at this point AT ALL. It’s nearing noon. This made me giggle: in childhood our backyard met up with that of an older couple, and my bedroom window had a pretty good view of their backyard and driveway. The man always wore a hat and smoked cigars. He also always attempted to shovel his driveway long before the snow stopped falling. I used to joke to my parents that he should just stand there, letting the flakes fall on the shovel. Although Mr. Bill’s strange habits were reminiscent of this childhood memory, he had something my previous neighbor did not: firepower. This snowblower is a diesel beast, coming to take no prisoners. About twenty minutes after clearing a respectable path in his driveway, you could not tell where Mr. Bill’s snowblowing had occurred.  This snow was serious.

By the time the snow finally stopped (around 9 pm), the drift outside our window reached about two feet above the ledge at its apex. Our cars are barely visible. The plows driving down the street are trembling and making little dog-whiny sounds, while tucking the exhaust pipe between the back tires.

It’s time to get down to business, people: time to eat some danish, eggs, and bacon and then build a hippo in the snow. Happy Snow Day!

Things have been crazy-busy lately. The last two weekends in a row, Katie and I have been displaying our various wares at Breezy Willow Farm. We love the farm, and the people there are really nice, but the craft show has been in an unheated shed-barn and it’s been a bit cold. The space is also pretty small, so if any actual customers are there, you’re kind of all up-ons, which makes me a little uncomfortable. Sadly, most of the people who have been coming through are members of the farm’s community-supported agriculture program (which is GREAT!) so they kind of just come to buy the stuff they always get at the farm, because that’s what they know they want. Which means not-so-much in the raising money for my wedding department. This weekend, however, we are also going to be involved in the INVASION OF THE CRAFTERS at Starry Night Coffee Shop & Bakery in Westminster, and that will (hopefully) be a little more lucrative, since there’s built-in patrons there.

Last weekend, KG had a show at Metro Gallery. Unfortunately, it was on Friday after I had worked 12.5 hours. I wasn’t really feeling it as a consequence. Don’t get me wrong, it was a fun time as always and I was excited to see all of my friends, but I was tired and not feeling very enthusiastic about anything. But I did get some Chipotle, and the opening band Secret Mountains was pretty good! We got a copy of their CD, I think if they play locally again anytime soon I might go check ‘em out.

So yeah, weekends have been reeeeally packed, which has kind of made the weeks feel long. I’ve also been crafting up a storm almost every waking moment that I’m not at work. It’s been really fun, but I’m about ready for the holidays to be over. (Oh yeah, I’m making Christmas gifts, too!) Tonight I have a 6 pm show (hence the not being at work at 12:45 on a Thursday afternoon). I like evening shows, they bring some variety from the usual routine. And man, let me tell you: the routine lately has been BO-RING at work. Our bookings are way down due to the recession, blah blah blah, so I’m not performing nearly as much as normal. That basically comes down to lots of down-time in the office, wanting to poke my eyeballs out. There’s been increasing talk of “restructuring,” and I’m kind of wishing they would just get around to laying people off already. I don’t want anyone at the MSC to have to lose their jobs, but it’s tiring always waiting for that other shoe to drop. Everyone’s stressed out all the time, it’s horrible.

Overall though, despite all of these trivialities, things have been pretty great lately. Aaron and I have just started watching LOST, which is super-addicting and awesome! And I think after all the Christmas crafting is finished, we’re really actually going to start moving ahead on the band project. We’ve put together some rough collaborations, and I think once we polish those demos up we’re going to send them to Joe to put some drumbeats on ‘em!! Yay! I can’t wait to get back to playing music.

Also, my puppets came! I’ve finished one script, and have enough puppets for two shows: I’m going to start doing children’s birthday parties, giving puppet shows about animals. I am thrilled! Now I just need to whip up some fliers and business cards and start getting my name out there. I’ve got a really good feeling about this; I hope it comes through!

Now I guess I should actually get ready and go to work. (Booo!)

Tonight’s showing?  That Sinking Feeling: “Four bored and unemployed teens living in rainy Glasgow attempt to liven up their lives and make a lot of money after one of them plans a series of heists involving stainless steel sinks, dressing up as girls, and a stop-motion potion.”  And don’t forget the bellbottoms and awkwardly grown-out shag haircuts!!

My favorite thing about this film? The disclaimer in the beginning: This film takes place in the fictional city of Glasgow. Any resemblance to the actual city of Glasgow is completely coincidental. Yeah, except that this was OBVIOUSLY filmed in the actual city of Glasgow. I don’t think that actually qualifies the similarities as “coincidence.”

And no, I don’t know what a stop-motion potion is. I do know that the principals in this movie do a lot of shady dealings with elementary school students. I also know that this movie would be a lot (and I mean a LOT) more entertaining if the soundtrack was comprised of the 70’s punk these kids might have actually listened to rather than the awful, smooth-jazz quality electric piano/bass combo that is swarthily accompanying these scene changes. It’s like they just ripped stock music from Moonlighting, perhaps a whole three measures, and eeked it in wherever there was an awkward silence. Also, although these kids are speaking English, their lips are plainly not lining up with the words they’re saying. It’s like the worst Godzilla movie ever. Godzilla vs. The Ganglemeisters!!

Time to listen to the classical station. WBJZ, save our souls!!

So I’ve come to learn in the past year that there’s two things I can count on in life:
1. When I get sick, I can expect my car to get sick also.
2. When my car gets sick, I can expect to get sick also.

About two weeks ago, Aaron came home carting the most recent Carma’s Crud. It was bad. For Aaron to call out of work, it’s bad. So we were all sickly together for a couple of days, and then it got better…kinda. There was still some bastardly congestion that wouldn’t break up, and a hacking cough that just wouldn’t quit, and just when I was feeling this sexy and chipper, my car wouldn’t start. There was some craziness with trying to start it unsuccessfully (obviously), and then calling AAA and waiting for them for an hour-and-a-half, and then the tow truck laughing at me and saying that there was no way he’d make it down our driveway because it’s in such bad shape. It was awesome. So he jimmy-jacked my car to get it to at least start, and it belched out a bunch of smoke but we got it to the shop in Glen Burnie. Basically it needed a major tune-up, so it could have been a lot worse (like last time when a rodent had eaten through the entire wire casing).

So the car is ::knockonwood:: better, but I have been feeling progressively worse. After being sealed up in a van with my increasingly-sick boss all of Thursday, the second landfall kicked me in the teeth Friday night. Ohhhh the thrill of a fever and chills and the all-over aching twice in 8 days was just indescribable! Saturday morning I tried to go to the UrgentCare, but was about a half-hour too late in my plans/ability to raise my head off the pillow. So waited until this morning, we did.

Let’s preface this by saying this turned into a three-hour trip to the doctor’s office.

There was a sign on the door on the way in.
The sign sayeth: “If you are experiencing flu-like symptoms, please inform our staff at the front desk immediately, so that we may provide you with the appropriate care as soon as possible.” Being the good little citizen my daddy raised me to be, I dutifully (and somewhat sheepishly) told the ladies at the front desk that I was a walk-in patient, and experiencing flu-like symptoms. The receptionist cheerfully told me to wait one second; she returned with a paper surgeon-style mask and some Purelle, which I was obligated to use. *I usually don’t use Purelle because it makes my eczema go crazy.

Needless to say, the other patients in the waiting room shot me many a furtive glance over the next half-hour’s wait.
Those bastards also hacked, sneezed, broke out in cold sweats, and CLEARLY exhibited flu-like symptoms, but since none of them used the magical phrase upon walking in, I was the only idiot in the room wearing a mask.

Dishonest, fraudulent jerks.

Finally, a masked, gloved attendant whisked me off to the Fabulous Flu Room!

“I’m sorry,” she explained, “this room is kept a few degrees colder than the rest of the building.”
“Oh, that’s okay,” I replied amiably, “I’m dressed in five layers for just such an occasion. That, and the chance that the chills might come creeping back.”
We proceeded to the usual check ‘o’ the vitals, and then! A DOUBLE throat-culture, in which two swabs, held side-by-side, were introduced to my esophagus.

I suppose that here I should interject that when I was six, it took five RN’s, my mother, and a doctor to restrain me and obtain a throat sample. That’s how much I love this process.

Luckily, today my medical technician, Samantha, was awesome and let me take my own sample. Unfortunately the little  buggers still had to go two-by-two. Then it was the flu test! This one she had to do herself, and we had the mutual joy of a swab  jabbed repeatedly in one nostril, and the same swab jabbed thusly in the other nostril. It pretty much ruled. Then I waited alone (but for my throbbing sinus headache) for a good long while for some kind of result. I don’t think I have to tell you that every time someone knocked and talked to me through the door, and reminded me to be sure I was keeping my mask on, my anxiety went up about 3 more points. Finally, after about 20 minutes, my inner-self was saying, “Shit! I have the swine and I have obviously infected children at all three of the last schools I worked at. Shit!”

The doctor came in, sans test results, and did some of the usual flu check-up stuff, including banging on my face to see if my sinuses hurt. Yup. They hurt. Can I go home now?

No! We need to X-Ray your chest to make sure you don’t have pneumonia.
I appreciate that. Because you know who doesn’t want to die of walking pneumonia this year? Little old me.

Honestly, up until this point I was in pretty good spirits. I appreciated the effort being put into my diagnosis, and I respected the fact that these overworked and pretty obviously somewhat-terrified people were doing their jobs as quickly and efficiently as possible.

It was then, my friends, that I met the X-Ray technician.
The X-Ray room is about a quarter-mile from the Flu Room. Since this woman and I had about a five-minute walk together, I decided to make pleasant small-talk.

“It’s really great that you’re able to do X-Rays on site. I pretty much figured I was doomed to go to the ER after this.”
“Yeah, well, we only became an urgent care a few months ago. Before that we’ve always been job-related accidents and injuries, so we had to have the X-Rays.”
“Oh, I see.”  ::shuffle shuffle. awkward silence:: Upon coming to the X-Ray room, she looks at me, as though for the first time and says,
“Dammit, didn’t they tell you to change out of your clothes?”
Bear in mind I just spent 5 MINUTES shuffling down the hallway with this lady. NOW YOU NOTICE THAT I AM WEARING CLOTHES.
“No ma’am, I just trusted that you’d have a gown here when you told me to follow you.”
“Well. I can’t let you change in another room, since you’re a flu patient. We have to take you back to the flu room so you can remove your bra.”
“Oh, it’s okay, I’m not wearing a bra. I have a camisole with no underwire.” (I had sort of anticipated they might want to check for pneumonia.)

Now, she gets really pissed, pretty much out of nowhere. She wheels around, and into my mask she says,
“You need to just do exactly what I say! I am taking you back to the flu room!”

She was old and mean for the rest of our time together. What a pleasant encounter.

Final diagnosis:
No swine.
No influenza.
No pneumonia.
Sinus infection, with some other sort of virus attached to it. No work for the next 5 days.

 

In other news, some tree-trimmers accidentally dropped a tree on my mom and dad’s brand-new front porch. Luckily, the guy’s brother is a carpenter, so by the time my parents got home (the tree trimmers came unexpectedly – don’t ask), the porch was already halfway repaired. And as my dad went to move his car out of said carpenter’s way, his car chug-a-lugged and died!

Apparently we collectively can’t catch a break.
But whatevs, I got to spend the majority of the afternoon playing Donkey Kong Country and Bubsy: Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind! So I can’t complain.

Hey there, Internet.

Sorry I have been distant. The summer/September was hectic and unorthodox. I won’t bore you with excuses regarding my absence. I will, however, tantalize you with the fact that I have an exciting new idea involving puppets that I am preparing to unleash on the greater MD area. Get ready.

In the meantime, a high school acquaintance wrote this letter to her cat and, by the power invested in Facebook, I became privy to it. It’s amusing and I thought you might enjoy it! (Also, holy moly the synth breakdown in Ben Folds’ Ascent of Stan just blew my mind out!!) Anyway, here it is:

Dear Raven,

Thank you for shattering the stereotype that cats are clean, quiet, low-maintenance pets. Your incessant meowing and constant need for attention is an inspiration for felines everywhere. None of that lazing around all day or hiding behind couches for you. No one could ever call you an Uncle Tomcat. And you never forget where you came from. You were found at about 4 weeks old, eating from a dumpster and now, even when given the chance, you turn up your nose at Fancy Feast because you would rather eat crusts of bread, pieces of paper, and dust bunnies from the corner of the room. Covered litter box? Feh, who needs a litter box? The ground was fine before you got adopted and it’s still fine now. And people think that only dogs pick up random items with their teeth and trot off with them. Clearly, they were wrong. So, I salute you Raven Lenore.

Love always,
Mom

Love it.
Talk atcha soon…
xoxo

I’m in this weird mood today where I’m randomly missing college. For some people, this may seem second-nature: “Of course you miss college! I get together with my fraternity/sorority/whatever friends every weekend, pretending I’m still in college!!” Yeah, no. That’s not usually how I roll (no judgement against anyone who does, that’s just not my bag). By the time I graduated, I was so incredibly done with school that I turned down my parents’ offer to pay for my grad school if I started right away in the fall. (YOU IDIOT!) I longed for a life where I could just go to a job, do it, and come home with no papers or homework or whatever at the end of my day. That’s pretty much how my life is now, and somehow it’s still stressful.

Don’t get me wrong: I really love my job. And for the most part it is much less stressful that many jobs (see any of my past posts about my crazy teaching experience). But I guess I’m just missing the illusion of the typical college student: that you’re “free” and “on your own” and that as long as you get good grades and stay out of trouble, your life is going to work out just great.

You’re not really free or on your own. Your parents pay the majority of your big bills, and there’s generally some kind of safety net in place for you if you mess something up. Picked the wrong major? Freaking out? No worries: there’s still time to change your mind! Here, have a month-long winter break! Here’s another week in the spring! And don’t worry, we won’t make you come in the summer unless you really want to.

Damn, dude. Life was good.

But I still found stuff to freak out over. And maybe in a year or two when I have a different job, I’ll look back at this time and wonder what the hell I was complaining about. Ultimately, I think I’m just feeling the effects of having the safety net removed, of realizing that my safety nets are wishing they had safety nets and that no one is really 100% certain of how it’s all going to work out in the end.

Or maybe it’s just this damn summer cold sending me into fever-induced ramblings. ‘Cause man, I know I get nostalgic from time to time, but I NEVER missed walking to class before.

Been busy lately. Believe it or not, summer is one of the high-impact seasons at my job: we’re triple-booked at camps and libraries just about every single day. Fortunately, most days are one-show-only. Then there’s Alexandria, VA. Kill yourself, because you’re looking at a two-hour drive, a show at 2, a five-hour break, a show at 7 at a different library, and a two-hour drive home.

But honestly, it’s not that bad. Libraries are really fun! Librarians are organized and enthusiastic, and the kids are on summer vacation, so everything is Wonderful and they are usually pretty stoked to see you. You’re the awesome outing they (and Mom/Dad) have been looking forward to for a week! Fun fun fun.

Other than that, we got a Wii for Aaron’s birthday so we’ve been playing Twilight Princess every chance we get. It’s awesome. That game looks so freaking good, it hurts.

Sadly, this week does not leave much room for Wii-ing. I’m volunteering for Bubble Days at the Science Center on Saturday (you should come, it’s gonna be awesome!!) doing a demo about how to make bubbles glow. I think I’m going to learn how that works this afternoon, yay! But yeah, Sunday is essentially my only day off. I’m working next Saturday, too. I really hope our Saturday bookings end soon. Once in a while working a Saturday is actually kinda fun, but by the third one you’re pretty sick of it.

So yeah: things lately, pretty good. Busy, but having fun here and there and more in-love every day. (All of you making pukey sounds are just jealous!) I’ll try to keep up with the blog more diligently, but I’m not making any promises…because I like sleeping.

I am reposting this from Amanda Palmer’s blog because I love it, and because I think anybody who reads this blog is likely to understand it, connect with it, and appreciate it as well. It’s beautiful and may lend a sense of hope and/or courage to those of us who are struggling with our craft one-way-or-another at this moment. You may want to have some Kleenex handy, and you should MOST DEFINITELY have some music (preferably some that speaks to you deep down) playing in the background as you read. And now, without further ado:

Why Music Matters
Karl Paulnack, Director, Music Division

The Boston Conservatory

Dr. Karl Paulnack’s Welcome Address to parents of incoming students, September 2004

“One of my parents’ deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value me as a musician… I had very good grades in high school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a research chemist or an engineer, I might be more appreciated… I still remember my mother’s remark when I announced my decision to apply to music school.  She said, “You’re wasting your SAT scores!” On some level, I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its purpose was.  And they loved music: they listened to classical music all the time. They just weren’t really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit, because we live in a society that puts music in the “arts and entertainment” section of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it’s the opposite… Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

One of the first cultures to articulate how music really works were the ancient Greeks.  And this is going to fascinate you: the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us.  Let me give you some examples of how this works.

One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940 and imprisoned in a prisoner-of-war camp.

He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose, and fortunate to have musician colleagues in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist. Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the Nazi camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture — why would anyone bother with music? And yet even from the concentration camps we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn’t just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, “I am alive, and my life has meaning.”

In September of 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. On the morning of September 12, 2001 I reached a new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn’t this completely irrelevant? Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day.

At least in my neighborhood, we didn’t shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn’t play cards to pass the time, we didn’t watch TV, we didn’t shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, on the very evening of September 11th, was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang  “We Shall Overcome.” Lots of people sang “America the Beautiful.”  The first organized public event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center, with the New York Philharmonic. The first organized public expression of grief, our first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of “arts and entertainment” as the newspaper section would have us believe. It’s not a luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or an amusement or a pastime. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can’t with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber’s heart wrenchingly beautiful piece “Adagio for Strings.” If you don’t know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie “Platoon,” a film about the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you didn’t know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what’s really going on inside us the way a good therapist does.

Very few of you have ever been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music. There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad music, but with few exceptions there is some music. And something very predictable happens at weddings-people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there’s some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn’t good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding cry a couple of moments after the music starts. Why? The Greeks. Music allows us to move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so that we can express what we feel even when we can’t talk about it. Can you imagine watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music? What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment?  I guarantee you if you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn’t happen that way. The Greeks. Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible internal objects.

I’ll give you one more example. The most important concert of my entire life took place in a nursing home in a small Mid-western town a few years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we often do, with Aaron Copland’s Sonata, which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young friend of Copland’s, a young pilot who was shot down during the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier. Even in his 70’s it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that particular piece, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve heard crying in a concert and we went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium.  I honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: “During World War II I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial combat situation where one of my team’s planes was hit. I watched my friend bail out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us returned and machine gunned across the parachute cords so as to separate the parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean, realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it was as though I was reliving it. I didn’t understand why this was happening, why now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle. How does the music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me?”

Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal objects. The concert in the nursing home was the most important work I have ever done. For me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland, and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

The responsibility I will charge your sons and daughters with is this:  “If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing appendectomies, you’d take your work very seriously because you would imagine that some night at 2 AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and you’re going to have to save their life. Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will depend partly on how well you do your craft.

“You’re not here to become an entertainer, and you don’t have to sell yourself. The truth is you don’t have anything to sell; being a musician isn’t about dispensing a product, like selling used cars. I’m not an entertainer; I’m a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You’re here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

“Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music, I expect you to save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don’t expect it will come from a government, a military force or a corporation. I no longer even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that’s what we do. As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives.”