So, tonight I was tooling around on YouTube. I love to do this. I got on ye Olde YouTube with the intention of dorking out to my favorite Korg Polysix demo (shut up, you love my nerdiness!), but the “Recommended for You” section offered a brief interview with Jason Bateman and Michael Cera together! “Sweet,” I thought, “I like those guys!” 

Friends, how I wish I hadn’t looked upon what I saw.

The Interviewer was an “Access Hollywood’ type, and whatever, that jackassery is to be expected. But the interactions between Michael and Jason seemed really forced and awkward and I kind of hated it. But I only kind of hated it at that point, it was sort of confusing and I was soon distracted by the Interviewer saying, “So there’s a clip of you getting fired from the movie Knocked Up floating around; that must have been really embarrassing for you when that leaked.”  Huh? Say what? That’s not something I’d heard of before…how strange.  ”Well…it’s not that embarrassing,” replies Michael, “because I still think I was in the right.”

And then, Friends, I did what I know now was an unspeakably stupid act. I sought the clip on YouTube.
Yes, it was an ugly and bitter battle between director and actor. Katherine Heigl looked stunned the entire time, and the clip ends with her exclaiming, “Shit!” No one (save the extras and crew members) went unscathed. Oh, but the true horrors had only just begun. This clip was followed up with some informal footage/interviews shot by a crewmember of Superbad. The person who posted these clips wrote, “This is a great prank where everybody pretends to hate Michael Cera. I think it’s a prank. It has to be, I love Michael Cera! lol hilarious!”

Okay, listen: this footage? OBVIOUSLY NOT A PRANK. THIS IS 5 STRAIGHT MINUTES OF AWKWARD TENSION AND PEOPLE OUTRIGHT HATING MICHAEL CERA TO HIS FACE. You know that annoying person you work with/go to school with who is utterly neurotic and tries waaaay too hard to be everyone’s friend? And when that fails they go to the other extreme and act like they’re way too cool for everyone? 

Yep. That would be Michael Cera. Several people tell him to fuck off. Several more use the phrase, “Don’t f**king touch me” (because apparently MC does not understand the concept of personal space), and one girl really, royally flips out on him in the worst possible way. One of the producers loathes him so much that she refuses to talk about him save to mention the fact that she will never work with him again.

As someone who loves both “Arrested Development” and (especially) Juno, I was really upset by all of this. A little heartbroken I would even say. I felt a little bit nauseous and like I needed a hug real bad. I decided to watch some interviews with Ellen Page, just hoping and praying there would be some lightness. Happily, I did find one interview where Ellen and Diablo Cody (screenwriter of Juno) have some really nice things to say about Michael. Maybe he was just awkward and immature during the Superbad/Knocked Up business. Maybe his working relationship with Judd Apatow was just so toxic that it ruined Cera’s relationship with the rest of the cast. I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t speculate or make excuses. I still love Juno and AD, and will certainly continue to watch them, but the kind words from the lovely Juno ladies were kind of too little, too late. The metaphoric acid wash of the previous video was all over my mouth, jeans, and heart.

I did the only thing a girl can do.

I watched clips from “Flight of the Conchords” and snuggled kitties until the queasy-ness subsided.
Still waitin’ on that hug, though.

 

 

Other than that, life’s been really great! (::knock on wood::) I’m going to be marching in the NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Tuesday with my brother Dan’s Pipe & Drum band (IBEW Local 164). If you watch the parade on TV, look for me! I’ll be striding down 5th Avenue…

Laters!