So life has been rad lately. It’s finally spring, work is pretty good (::knock on wood::) and things are moving right along. Unfortunately I’ve racked up some minor credit card debt due to the unforeseen dying of my car (a rat/mouse/squirrel had made a nest in the engine and eaten through the wiring harness!) but I’ve got a plan to hack through it. It’s the first time in my life that I’ll have to let the balance roll over from one month to the next…that makes me kind of sick-at-heart. I try to use my credit card like a cash-substitute, only spending money I know I have so that interest won’t build up. Technically I have enough in my savings right now that I could pay this off all at once, but that would pretty much wipe out my savings and that’s not an option in my mind. So, I have to suck it up and deal with my debts head-on. I shouldn’t beat myself up about it: it was money spent in an emergency situation, not some crazy infomercial shopping-spree or other craziness. I know it’s not entirely my fault, but it’s also not my fave.

In other news, the band is still stop-and-go. I’ve decided to record a few more demos this evening to try and hash out what I really want from the project, as far as sound goes. It’s just really frustrating. I’ve never really found anyone to collaborate with who inspires me to reach new musical heights (no offense to all the talented musicians I’ve worked with in the past! I love you all). Usually I wind up just resigning myself to arrange all the parts myself and teach other people how to play them. Honestly, it’s not very rewarding and it tends to fall flat because there’s no outsiders’ perspectives. I guess I’m just wishing for people who had the incentive/drive/lack-of-other-things-to-do  to take time and make my original songs their own in some way. Pretty much everyone I’ve worked with before has said, “That song is great! What do you want me to do?” I miss Josh. He and I collaborated well together, we had some good chi or something. Damn it, Texas! Be closer to Maryland!

I’m not giving up hope on this. I refuse to. Just frustrated, as I have been for the past year or so. Now that I’m not in school anymore, it’s hard to find musicians, and I don’t want to settle on someone who doesn’t have the qualities I want just because they happen to play an instrument I’d like in the band and volunteered.

 

Whatever. Time to stop bitching and go make some music. Maybe I’ll figure out more of what I’m looking for.